It looks like summer is coming to a close soon with the new school year in sight and pools preparing to cut back hours of operation. Matushka took the 2 youngest grandchildren to the pool this week while the weather permitted and I was reflecting a bit on how much the grandchildren enjoy it. This then led me to recalling the squabbling over the kiddy pool by some of my own, back in the day. Learning to share and take turns at a young age, unless of course they were the only ones in the pool! And then those memories surfaced of confrontations on trips in the car when disputes erupted over who was looking out the wrong window!
This behavior is a challenge to overcome, even as we mature. Relationships are pretty tough, that is why we start a couple out in marriage by placing a martyrs crown upon their head. There is a human illness that affects us all, it is one full of pain and misery. It is caused by the loss or failure to exercise Christ-like love for one another. In all the struggles within a family, it is evident that conflict erupts when we forget to love each other as Christ loves us. We heard it echoed in Romans 15 this morning, “We then who are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves. For let each of us be pleasing his neighbor for the good, toward building up.” [Rom. 15:1-2]
My extended family is not an exception, there was a lot of brokenness between aunts and uncles and children and their parents and it seems to trickle down through generations like the Hatfield’s and the McCoy’s. When these family members came together in the same room, if they came at all, the air was thick and cold; people were protecting their wounds and not forgiving each other. I can reason that you too have found yourselves amongst that damp air yourselves a time or two.
Metropolitan of Pisidia Sotirios of Korea wrote: “One of the most serious issues affecting society on all levels is the complete breakdown of relationships between people. This can be seen even within the same family, where spouses are estranged because of disagreements, and there is alienation between children and parents. What is the result? Husband and wife end up divorced. Children cut ties with their parents (or vice versa). It can be seen everywhere in our communities: Brothers, friends, associates, and neighbors are cold to one another, accuse one another (or worse) and avoid each other. There are many reasons why relationships end up in this way. The key reason has to do with our own selfishness. When another person does or says something that offends us, we react strongly against it. Or when we feel that we are right about something, and others disagree with us. When we think only of our own feelings and disregard the other person, conflict is inevitable. This is led to sad consequences for all of us.”
One perspective to consider is that we adults just cannot flap our wings about like we are the only ducks in the kiddy pool. I keep reminding myself that everything that is, is His! Even those irritating people! And even those with my same bloodline and gene pool. The ole folks say that blood is thicker than water, and I believe that we all here can attest to that in most cases. Family usually nurtures family, unless we lose our grasp on the Holy Cross, where our sinful self-love should come to die and set us free!
And of course, we here at Holy Myrrhbearers are FAMILY, and we also have illnesses and wounds! But this is where we need to learn how to love, as Christ does. And we then take that love, because a love like that simply cannot be contained, back home and into our community and work. St. Paul in his epistle to the Romans ends with these words: “Receive one another, just as Christ also received us, to the glory of God” (verse 15:7). Christ loves us despite our sins and failures. Now we must learn to love each other in the same manner? Salvation is a way of life, an everyday practice of forbearance. Mother Gavrilia, the Ascetic of Love was asked: "What does God want me to do?...The answer was: God is not interested in where you are or what you do...He is interested only in the quality and quantity of the love you give. Nothing else. Nothing else."
Your kiddy pool is filled with other people, elbow to elbow, all ages, and of course very distracting! Fr. John Moses use to say that here in the Nave we marinate in the faith, here with our family. This process is supposed to tender our gristle! I’ll end with a quote from St. Moses of Optina: “You must bear the spiritual infirmities of your brother gladly, and without annoyance. For when someone is physically ill, we are not only not annoyed with him, but we are exemplary in our care of him; we should also set an example in cases of spiritual illness.” (St. Moses of Optina, Living Without Hypocrisy: Spiritual Counsels of the Holy Elders of Optina)
