Many years ago Matushka and I took a youth group white-water rafting on the Gorge in W.V. We had our guides, our inflated rafts and our individual safety orange life jackets. Now you must know that I have a fear of water, with some thanks to the Boys Club in Norfolk swimming lessons when I was knee high to a grasshopper, so it was a bit of a stretch for me anyway. Our 2 rafts were full and things went smoothly down river. As we approached a small set of falls, our guide asked us if we would like to experience a hydraulic. The group was overwhelming invincible and had no idea what he, the professional guide, was referring too, so I went along with the unanimous vote. Matushka and I were in the front of the raft and into the heavy-duty wash machine we went, under water, briefly up for air, back under water, rinse and repeat, up and down again and again!! In the seconds I was above water I was able to see one of our girls had gotten free from the raft and was safely floating down river, I gasped another lung-full of air and went back under. The next time I surfaced, I looked at Matushka, which seems like we had been in a heavy duty double cycle of all the Maytag could offer us, she gave me the look and we had enough of that and bailed out of that raft. The raft was then spit out of the hydraulic and launched to safety. It must have had 3 or 4 seconds of air time before it landed safely back on the river with the remainder of our group. Well, I certainly won’t forget that experience. We were being led by a seasoned guide but we were out of control, at the mercy of nature, and maybe a large heaping of stupidity as we tested the limits of nature and life!
It is just so very easy to jump feet first into the world and let the flow of things sweep us away, after all, we have plenty of time, don’t we! It is easy to take away our focus on the Lord as we navigate the big rocks and swift currents of life. This is one of my grounding times of the year when I try to put into order all the distractions of my life’s journey. This is the season that we celebrate the Elevation of the Venerable and Life-Creating Cross of the Lord. It is a time we remember that the pagans tried their best to completely eradicate from our human memory the holy places where our Lord Jesus Christ suffered and was resurrected now and forever for all of mankind! It is a time when I look deeply inward. In my own ways I try to forget why I am here at times, and who deeply loves me as I push Christ away, away from my hurt, away from my failures, away from the dusty and damp darkness! This feast reminds me that I belong! I am not lost! There is always a path home to safety.
We urgently must exalt the Holy Cross in our hearts. St. Theophan the Recluse encourages us: “There is a spiritual exaltation of the cross in the heart. It happens when one firmly resolves to crucify himself, or to mortify his passions—something so essential in Christians that, according to the Apostle, they only are Christ’s, who have crucified their flesh with its passions and lusts (cf. Gal. 5:24).” (St. Theophan the Recluse - Letters on the Spiritual Life)
“When the pagans rebuilt the city (the Jews were forbidden to come near the place where it was), it happened that on the place where the Cross of Christ was hidden, they placed an idol of Venus, the pagan Goddess of fornication and all manner of lusts. This is what the enemy suggested to them. This is how it is with our inner cross. When the enemy destroys the spiritual order in the soul, this is our mental Jerusalem, and then the spiritual cross is thrown down from the Golgotha of the heart and is covered over with the garbage of the affections and lusts.” (St. Theophan the Recluse - Letters on the Spiritual Life)
Many of us enjoy numbing ourselves on chemicals and liquids and food as well, seeking some sort of comfort in the dusty and damp darkness. That is not a solution but only a gloomy hiding place for a brief moment in life. Wouldn’t it be better to free our conscience, our guilt and shame instead of getting numb and dumb? How much time do you have left? How much longer will you hide? He is waiting and hoping for your salvation!
By exalting the Holy Cross in our hearts, we can free ourselves from the lying demons that seem to catch our attention. We have been created to not perish, but to have eternal life. Everyone, no matter how beaten down you are, or what you have done and how you have failed, or who you have hurt, can grasp this precious gift. Lift up in the prayer those who have injured us, repent and understand how you injured others, asking forgiveness if possible, confess your failings and sins, ingest the words of absolution, and come unworthily and receive the Divine Love that awaits you at the chalice. And just like that mighty hydraulic action on the Gorge of the New River that tried to consume Matushka and me, rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat! You are loved, turn loose of death and come home!
