In my youth I recall a movie about an evil queen, who gazes into a reflection glass and says something like: mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the most perfect of us all?” And perhaps that reflection is a good place for us to consider our vanity and selfishness. After all, what we see reflected is manipulated to fit our judgeful eye and is only 2 dimensional or a hyperplane. It repeats what we tell it, or reflects our imposter that we want the world to see, or perhaps the face we put on for our family, and here at church or out and about. It fails miserably to reflect what is under our skin, where we hide and protect our darkness, and where we continue to seek warmth in its familiar itchy stinky blanket. Although for our vanity, we may catch a glimpse of imperfection in the image we are hoping to display. And with some effort and adjustments, onward we go. It is maybe a bit of “sleight of hand” or let’s highlight our strong points to draw less attention to our worldly deep flaws. But it is merely the hardcover for a really thick book! And that really thick book is not a best seller, as we had wished it would be.
Mirrors for the most part do not accurately reflect what they see. Scientists will say about 95% is usually reflected. Back in my electronic security days we would bounce infrared beams off of a mirror and catch or receive them across the room with a “V” or at 90 a degree or so, and bend the beam allowing for more coverage of that space. Experts would caution us that with each mirror we used, we should calculate losing about half of the infrareds beam light or signal. I wonder how much of our uncreated light can be bounced or reflected and how much is lost?
This is a hospital and we are all deeply flawed. This is where we spend the rest of our lives in surgery and recovery, practicing our physical therapy and retraining our brain to look inward, into our darkest corners. We are seeking a diagnosis for our sinful symptoms of judgment, pride, and vanity. We are seeking healing of our disease that acts out in ways that are not Christ-like!
St. Paul writes: “The night is far spent, the day is at hand. Therefore let us cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armor of light. Let us walk properly, as in the day, not in revelry and drunkenness, not in lewdness and lust, not in strife and envy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.” [Rom. 13:12-14]
We begin this season of therapy with Forgiveness Vespers. As we practice stepping on our own toes and biting our sharp critical tongues, and our devoted judgeful eyes. On this morning we also hear in the foundational readings about helping our brother and sisters who are weak or stumbling in the faith and forgiving those who have wronged us. (Mat 6:14-21)
Let me close with these reflective words from our great saint John of Kronstadt: “My heart ought to cling to God alone. “It is good for me to hold me fast by God "; (Psalm 73:28) but—what blindness and perversion! it clings to earthly delights: to food, drink, carnal pleasures; to money, to this dross, to dress, to this corruption, to perishable colours, to patterns, to fashions, that charm the eyes, to luxuriously furnished rooms, etc. How strange it is! I, a Christian, a heavenly man, am occupied with everything earthly, and care but little for heavenly things. I am transplanted in Christ into heaven, but meanwhile I cling with all my heart to earth, and apparently would never desire to be in heaven, but would prefer to always remain on earth, although earthly things, notwithstanding their delights, oppress and torment me; although I see that everything earthly is uncertain, corruptible, and soon passes away; although I know and feel that nothing earthly can satisfy my spirit, can appease and rejoice my heart, which is constantly disturbed and grieved by earthly vanity. How long, therefore, shall I, a heavenly man, remain earthly? How long shall I, the child of God, be flesh, notwithstanding that I was born in holy baptism, "not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God"(John 1:13) How long will it be before I turn wholly to God? Lord! Draw my heart to Thee by Thy Holy Spirit. Lord! Turn my heart away from earthly vanities. Lord! Without Thee I can do nothing.
We love everything brilliant on earth: gold, silver, precious stones, crystal, bright clothing—why then do we not love the future glory to which the Lord calls us? Why do we not aspire to shine like the sun? "Then shall the righteous shine forth as the sun in the kingdom of their Father."(Matt 13:43 ) It is because we have perverted the nature of our soul by sin, and have attached ourselves to earth instead of to heaven, to corruptible things instead of to incorruptible ones; because we love earthly, transitory, perishable, and seductive splendour. But why is there such a love for everything bright in us? Because our soul was created for heavenly light, and was originally all light, all radiance; thus light is inborn in it, the feeling and desire for light are inborn in it. Direct this aspiration to seeking for heavenly light!” (My Life In Christ (p 271-272), or Moments of Spiritual Serenity and Contemplation, of Reverent Feeling, of Ernest Self-Amendment, and Peace of God) Extracts from the Diary of St. John of Kronstadt)
Glory to Thee who has shown forth the light!
Fr. Gabriel Weller 2-22-26
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